Innocent Diversion

Video Games > Movies

2012-02-06T20:18:00.001-07:00

Now before you flip out and say that there is no flippin' way video games could be better than movies....let me explain.

I've been a gamer since I was less than 2 years old. I don't have the picture, it's at my parent's place somewhere, of me when I was barely old enough to walk sitting in my dad's lap playing "Sticky Bear Bop" on an old amber screen something-or-other. I was born a gamer. But it wasn't long after I learned to walk, my parents say no older than 3, that I could sit through my favorite childhood movie, The Wizard of Oz, without moving. That's quite a feat for someone so young if I do say so myself!

Perhaps I should just say that I've always been attracted to the warm glow of a tube. Like a moth. I'm a moth? God how did I get to being an insect.....ANYWAY!

I'm picky too. About my games and movies that is. Ask anyone who has had to go to a movie with me. Between the hubs and I, I think we have almost 2,000 movies rated on Netflix. We don't mess around. I would venture even to say that I have seen enough movies to be able to maybe even have an opinion worth listening to.

So here it is.

As the talentless goons in Hollywood continue to get blockbuster amounts of money for shit like Transformers 2... what need have they for story? Plot? Character development? Creating empathy? NONE! NONENOENOENOENEONEONENONEONEOENNONE!
So they don't. Because that stuff costs money (in the form of hiring talent).

On the other hand. The games, as of late, have some pretty epic story lines! For instance, a simple FPS like Dead Space has enough story that I sat behind my hubs while he played it, with my knitting, and watched it like a movie! Now just think about that. I had more fun watching a video game played than the sum of the "decent" movies I've seen in the last few years. A game like Dead Space you can probably get, I dunno, 6-8 hours of game play. Lets break it down.

New release movie that prolly sucks: $13.50 x2 (at our nearest theater)
Popcorn and a drink: ~$10 (probably more)
Hours of entertainment: ~2
-------------------------------------------------
$37 / 2 = $18.50 per hour for questionable entertainment

New release video game that's prolly good: $60
Popcorn and drink from costco: $0.50 per person
Hours of entertainment: ~7.5 (for argument's sake)
-----------------------------------------------------
$61 / 7.5 = $8.14 per hour for possibly enthralling entertainment

If that math isn't intriguing enough to make you want to go try a game instead of a movie...let me...pique your interest in some upcoming movies, sure-to-be classics.

"Butter: In small-town Iowa, an adopted girl discovers her talent for butter carving and finds herself pitted against an ambitious local woman in their town's annual contest."

Really...butter carving.....

"American Reunion: "

Yeah....even IMDB didn't have a blurb for this POS....

"What To Expect When You're Expecting: A look at the lives of five couples as they prepare to become parents."

You know it has gotten bad when they are making movies of self-help books....

"Mirror Mirror: An evil queen steals control of a kingdom and an exiled princess enlists the help of seven resourceful rebels to win back her birthright."

Srsly? Apparently we aren't smart enough to create some new fairy tales we'll just keep rehashing old work....wait just a second....what is that?!

"Snow White and the Huntsman: In a twist to the fairy tale, the Huntsman ordered to take Snow White into the woods to be killed winds up becoming her protector and mentor in a quest to vanquish the Evil Queen."

Hey now Hollywood this is too much! TWO!? TWO!!?!? Really we need two totally screwed up Snow White rip offs? Speaking of two....Two words: Kristen Stewart.

"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter: President Lincoln's mother is killed by a supernatural creature, which fuels his passion to crush vampires and their slave-owning helpers."

There aren't words for this.

"Total Recall: As the nation states Euromerica and New Shanghai vie for supremacy, a factory worker (Farrell) begins to suspect that he's a spy, though he is unaware which side of the fight he's on."

So if this movies sounds familiar you to you...let me just say...IT SHOULD. The original is a cult classic and there is ZERO need to remake this. Also....remaking one Philip K. Dick movie rendition leads me to believe some jack ass will try and do something epically fail like remake Blade Runner. And then I would have to kill someone.

Well those are just some of the joys we are looking forward to this coming year. I did not even mention the plethora of movies they are re-releasing 'Now in 3D!!' like Star Wars and Titanic. I can't wait to not watch any of them.

So please, write your congressman, your favorite directors, your aunts, ANYONE. We need better movies! Otherwise.....I fear the state of moviedom pictured in Idiocracy.... just a giant Ass for 90 minutes. Winning best screen play.

If our outsides always showed our insides.....

2012-02-01T12:58:00.000-07:00

So the hubs is in Omaha this week for a work convention thingy and I drove him to the airport on Monday. As we drove we talked about some totally random stuff. The night before we had watched a stand-up comedian on Netflix (I can't remember the guy's name and Netflix appears to be down at the moment....did the world just turn upside down?) who started his show off with death as the main topic. He joked about how his father had been attacked, not by terrorists, but by his own heart. Honestly it was hysterical and I laughed myself silly. On the long trek to DIA though, we were recapping that comedian and giggling, and I mentioned that heart attacks are rarely these huge events where sparks fly and guns go off and bombs are dropped. They are creeping and painful.

The hubs and I thought about this and the comedian, who said he was planning on preemptively attacking his heart with a defibrillator just to show it who's boss, and I posited that perhaps if hardening of the arteries was as visible on the outside, as say obesity, then perhaps people would care more about it. Is it an out of sight out of mind thing?

Though you see the pink ribbons, hammers, shoes, license plates, food, mixers, and pet supplies that support 'finding the cure' for breast cancer....where is the concern for the ACTUAL leading cause of death in women? HEART DISEASE. On an aside...I've always disliked those damned ribbons. And the selfish attitude of some of those stupid runs/walks/jogs for 'the cure' that sometimes disallowed men from participating. AS THOUGH US WOMEN ARE THE ONLY ONES WITH TITS YOU BOOBS. Hell yes I just used two anti-feminist breast slang words in one sentence...and you liked it.

Click here to see how you too, for a small fee, can have a ribbon, pin, magnet, bangle for every horrible thing in your life!

Or what about setting up some more walks/jogs/runs/whatevers for prostate cancer? A cancer that basically all men are ACTUALLY going to get if they live long enough? Get over it pinkies.....you aren't the main problem. I'm not trying to undermine the dehumanizing effects cancers of all kinds can have, especially those really horrible cases of double mastectomies, I'm just trying to put some perspective on other types of diseases that are also important and more prevalent. Ehem, moving on.

Anyway, the hubs said he didn't think it would matter if hardening of the arteries had a larger effect on the external appearance of people. He suggested that if obesity wasn't a deterrent enough to eating total crap, then neither would an external display of hardened arteries prove useful. I can't deny that, much like how 'everyone' knows smoking is bad for them there are still a ton of smokers and that 'everyone' knows eating a few Big Macs everyday is bad for you people still eat them. But isn't there a sort of stigma now? I mean, if you're a smoker today man you gotta really like smoking. Here in the mile-HIGH (I do mean pot smoke here) city, if you're a pot smoker you're more than welcome to smoke inside venues, in your home, outside your home, really ....wherever. But if you DARE smoke a cigarette, you've gotta not only leave the building you work in but also trudge 3 miles uphill both ways in the snow (literally) to have that cigarette a legal distance away from a building. That's determination! My point though, is there is a stigma around smoking cigarettes. I think there is a stigma around being obese as well people just aren't as willing to talk about it.

I mean, lets face it. There you are in your window seat on the plane. It's not a long flight, maybe 2 hours, but you're ready to get it over with and the plane hasn't even taken off yet. It looks like you're going to have the whole row to yourself, which is friggin' awesome!
Let me give you two scenarios:

1. Then suddenly, a guy flops down in the aisle seat in your row. Instantly you're struck in the face with the smell of old cigarettes. Dismayed, you wrinkle your nose and try and cleverly cover it with your sleeve to deter the smell from assaulting you. Out of nowhere the guy whips out a cigarette and lights up right there on the plane! You shocked and appalled! "HEY! You can't do that in here! This is a plane dude! FLIGHT ATTENDANT! HELP!" --- You immediately jump to action to prevent this guy from assaulting your airspace.

2. Then suddenly, a Beluga whale appears. Cramming the rolling folds into the adjoining seats the whale realizes that without putting the arm rests up between you and it, it won't be able to sit down completely. Now that two hour flight has become the 4th level of Dante's hell and you're suffering from respiratory distress as the weight of the folds crush your rib cage. But do you say a word? When the whale looks over at you apologetically do you not...even wrestle up a small, somewhat knowing smile to let him know that even if you do die of asphyxiation you wouldn't dare hurt it's feelings by mentioning you couldn't breathe?

Uh-huh. The stigma is still there though right?

-- And now for something completely different --

Later that day I tried to force myself to do some schoolwork. There is an organization that I'm actually quite keen on called the Institute for Healthcare Improvement. These folks are trying to help make hospitals a safer place for patients. I know, sounds weird, but people in hospitals make mistakes because people are people so why should it be....oh ehem, sorry. Anyway, people screw up.

So anyway, IHI has these modules to help teach everyone (not just healthcare people) about how to make stuff better. Lots of it seems like common sense and lots of it is interesting but there was one quote that blew me away.

"A 1984 study of physician-patient interactions, for example, showed that physicians listen to patients' concerns for an average of 18 seconds before interrupting.*"

So this study is ancient by information standards but still...you can only think that that number has gotten worse over the last almost 30 years. It is actually a little scary to me. It immediately makes me think of my 88-year-old grandmother who retains all of her mental faculties but is a little slower and has, oh, I don't know about 88 years of medical history to shuffle through. I can't tell you what I ate for lunch yesterday and I don't have her kind of excuse.

This got me thinking. I have a handful of nursing classmates who are planning on going on to get a nurse practitioner degree. I think it's great. Go for it guys! On the other hand, rumor has it, that by something like 2015 you're going to have to get a doctorate in nursing in order to prescribe. Aaaaannnndddd...well. Maybe I'm crazy..but a doctorate in nursing sounds like a presidency for senator-ship or a captainship for deckhandnes...or....well JUST DUMB YOU KNOW!?!? So power to you guys. Why does it always take me so long to get to my points? Anyway, my point here is that nurses are trained differently than doctors. This is for good reason. The way the current hospital system is set up, nurses spend a LOT more time with the patient than the doctors do. Nurses are the ones the patients talk to the most. Nurses listen and incorporate that gained information into their "plan of care" for the patient. A more all encompassing view rather than the diagnostic grit the doctors spend their time looking at. But I think this is why so many people are happy to see a nurse practitioner, in the outpatient setting, rather than a doctor a lot of the time -- because they are better listeners.

I'm not sure I actually have an end point to this little rant... Maybe that stuff needs to change...maybe if doctors had a more quality of quantity approach to their patients they would be able to spend more than 18 seconds listening before butting in. I'm not sure. What do you think?

*Beckman HB, Frankel RM. The effect of physician behavior on the collection of data. Annals of Internal Medicine. 1984;101(5):692-696.

Another Semester...

2012-01-22T14:58:00.000-07:00

Ok don't ask me why blogger is too stupid to handle something simple like image mapping but it took me a long bit to figure out how to even make this show up. So just ignore the first bit of the post that has...empty.....haha.

Anyway so I finished knitting up my Stripe Study shawl and I have all this leftover yarn and I was trying to think of ways to use it. I could just knit some weird item....like a strangely colored hat or something, but then I got an idea. I used to be able to draw and make some artistic stuff and then....well I stopped and if you don't use it you lose it! But I can knit up a storm....why not make it artistic? So I browsed the fair isle on ravelry and made this silly little thing on paint shop pro. You can click on the picture to see where I "stole" the stitching from.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? Has anyone see it in action? I think I could find some cheap frames at Ikea....hmm....

Anyway, school is starting again tomorrow and I'm ready and dreading at the same time. I really wanna start doing something again. My break was nice at the beginning but then....it just dragged on as I had nothing to do and my husband doesn't really care for going out and doing things on weekends without more encouragement than I can muster most of the time. All he wants to do lately is play Battlefield 3 anyway. I just need to get back in school so I have a reason to get out of the house and be productive. Of course, day one of class there is a math test. So...hate that.... stupid numbers....stupid books I have to buy....stupid...

Tama is still doing pretty good although it is apparent NOW that he is drinking more water. He wasn't doing that before. I'm afraid I'm going to take him in to get another over-priced glucose curve and he'll have to go up to 3 units BID which means yet ANOTHER curve....christ.

So I found some funnies today and made me laugh out loud (not that the husband could hear me over the killing in BF3 through his headphones.... >.>; ) and I thought I would share some of my favorites with you.

Nursing School Makes Me Want To...

2012-01-18T12:36:00.002-07:00

**Heads up, some things are a little ...graphic? Not really the right word...yarnic? Anyway...**

Alright well it makes me want to do a lot of things. Sometimes laugh but mostly just burn buildings down and hit people in the face with their own bureaucracy. I still haven't heard jack diddly about my SIP placement and yeah, that class starts next week. I realize that there is only one person doing placements for all the nursing students but...I'm a senior now guys, c'mon, don't we get first call? About ready to lose my go-ram mind here.

Yesterday I had a good time. Went and did water aerobics with a friend which is always fun but hard on the feet and then went to lunch with another friend. Then froze. Our damn heat seems to be on the fritz and the house is just frigid. I got the space heaters out but they occasional pop the circuit and then we have to deal with the breaker....jeeze.

So I'm almost done with my Oregon Coast Shawl (that's what I'm calling it now) and I was browsing ravelry today and saw that someone posted a pancreas. Yup. A pancreas. Now..... I have long thought that people who primarily crochet are a little odd in the head...I mean, what's with the amigarumi food items? But this got me thinking. How many body parts are on ravelry and can you make all human innards by now? Here are my findings.

Pretty impressive so far huh?! I know I know, some of these above aren't "innards" but I couldn't help but post up some random body parts. So we are obviously missing some things:

Stomach
Liver
Spleen
Intestines
Bladder
Gall Bladder
Other various glands

These may have already been created but I haven't found them yet. Lemme know if you find them and I'll add them to the collection here!

I wonder how long it would take to create a full set of human innards.

Edit to Add:

This was just posted today! Had to add it to this post!

Tama Update and More

2012-01-13T11:43:00.000-07:00

Tama has been on his insulin since the first of the month and he has definitely perked up! His begging has gone to the next level in fact. Goodness it's like fighting off a wild animal every time you try and eat something. I am glad that he is feeling better and he is getting back to his old self. Amazing what a tiny bit of insulin can do!!

I have to say, though, that I am a little miffed. I have worked as a vet tech for a number of years and I worked at the vet clinic that I take Tama to for awhile as well. Maybe the hard part is that I know they give discounts there to other people who used to work there.....but apparently not me. The killer is that I know how much markup there is on things! I don't mind paying people for their time. People deserve to get paid for their work... I just figure that if people who haven't worked there for years are getting massive discounts (as in, most stuff for free)....couldn't I get a little one?

The doc did not charge me for the office visit, which is very nice but...here is how that pans out to date:

First visit + bloodwork + rads = ~$260
Urine culture + scripts for insulin + small amount of diabetic food = $100
Insulin = $120
Blood glucose curve on Weds = $87

-$50 discount
----------------------------------------------------------------
$517

His curve showed that we need to up the insulin dose from 1unit twice a day to 2 units twice a day. Which means he has to go back in for another glucose curve in a week to 10 days. Another $87 bucks. For my nursing school buddies who read this, literally they use a handheld glucometer just like humans use and take the blood sugar level like 5 times throughout the day. Wouldn't you like to make an easy $87 for every 5 glucose sticks you did? HA. They know I know what they do. Tama stays there all day but looking at it objectively they probably spend less than 20 minutes on him. Get him out of the kennel, poke him, put him back, read the glucometer. So if they know I know what they are doing, and it is something I could do at home with fairly little help, why do they charge me the full price?! I WORKED WITH THESE PEOPLE FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

I'm just miffed. I'm glad Tama is feeling better, but diabetes isn't rocket science. I'm thinking about finding another vet. Why should I be faithful to this one?

Oh my gosh I forgot to add that Tama had the most horrible day on Wednesday. So I woke up to get him to the vet early and wouldn't you know it? 3 inches of snow on the ground and still actively snowing. GREAT. So I got bundled up and got Tama in his carrier and we trudged out to the car. It took us almost an hour to get there (usually takes 10 minutes). I stopped at Starbucks and got the doc her favorite coffee beverage on the way. So then I drop him off so he can get a buncha needles stuck into him throughout the day and leave him there until almost 5pm. It's 13 degrees out when I went to get him and again it took a long time to get home. When we finally got home....well the poor little guy had had an accident in his carrier and it was all over him. So out of the carrier and into the bath with the poor little man!! Worst day ever for a cat right?

On another note, I still haven't heard about my SIP placement and I've been doing basically nothing this whole Winter break. Knitting up a storm but.....starting to lose my mind.....
I've watched documentaries about ancient Greece, Egypt, Rome, Japan, Petra, modern Chinese landscapes, origami, babies, god knows what else. I've listened to Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility. All the while knitting. Occasionally browsing blogs. Here are some interesting things I've found recently!

This website is wonderful, all the tasty things you could ever want, super nice blogger who responds to questions in comments, and pictures that make you drool!

This is where I am going to get all my color inspiration for my knitting from now on!

Since Denver finally got an Ikea (yes, I still think this city is po-dunk and this is a backwater state, SO TAKE THAT!)

Happy $$$$$$$ New Year.

2012-01-02T00:07:00.000-07:00

Sorry about my rambling last post.

Yesterday morning we got a call from the vet. Tama is diabetic.
His blood sugar was 502 (should be more like 80).

I was asked to bring him in to run yet another test and pick up some prescriptions and things. What a shittastic way to start the day. P had another engagement so I got Tama in the carrier and we set off to the vet to the sound of Journey. It was literally blustering and the wind was blowing so hard that the car moved as I drove it. Poor Tama.

It isn't a long drive to my old work place but I saw something on the way that made me think that... while this horrid thing was happening to one of my babies... it could be worse.

I was stopped at a rather busy intersection where a few homeless folk have been known to camp out with their signs. As I am usually one of those "get a job" type people I generally attempt to avoid eye contact and ignore them. Yes, I'm a bitch. Anyway, the car in front of me was inhabited by less jaded folk and they happened to have some doggie boxes of food.

A man, bundled up against the icey cold wind, was standing on the corner with a little sign. Crossing the street, at the same time, was, what looked to me, like a mother and her young 5ish-year-old daughter. The generous car in front of me gave a little honk and the guy with the sign started walking over but just as the person started handing out the box of food, the little girl ran over and intercepted it. I sorta giggled thinking that the girl just didn't really understand and thought it was fun that someone was handing something to her. But then the mother took it from her and kind of started walking away with it! Now...my jaded mind just thought "What the hell lady. Neither you nor your daughter look starving, homeless, or are even dressed like you have money issues. This poor guy is out there with a sign and you are going to steal his food?"
Well, a second later another box of food was produced from the car which the man with the sign took, looked at for a moment, and then offered to the little girl.

Instantly tears welled up in my jaded eyes.

Here is a guy, presumably homeless and hungry, who could have gotten two boxes of food for himself if this selfish lady hadn't walked by at the just right moment, who was now willingly giving away the one box he might ended up with.
At this point the light turned green and I was forced to drive on as I was, hopefully, watching the mother motion to the child to give at least the one box back.

Tama doesn't have to wait for handouts. Tama doesn't have to be out in the cold. Tama has more healthcare coverage that many humans and despite the fact that he cost us about $500 (YES I KNOW!) this weekend, he is going to get the best care he can get.

And he is cat.

P.S. If anyone has a cheap way to get Lantus....hook me up.

Christmas and the New Year

2011-12-30T23:47:00.001-07:00

Well the holidays are over for us. Yes yes, I realize the new year hasn't quite rolled in yet, but we never have any plans on New Years and thus, as in all the years we have known each other, we shall most likely be spending the evening as we always do: me knitting, P killing. In Battlefield 3 that is. Not some weird Dexter sort of way.

We flew back to Portlandia for X-mas as always and had a lovely stay with my family. They always spoil us and treat us to a very nice vacation from doing anything. They practically put the food in our mouths for us! It is a nice getaway and I always feel like the stay is too short (I wonder if I'm just that lazy in reality?) We also saw P's sister and the kids, P's uncle and fam, and all manner of other family. Santa was extremely generous to us this year and we have much to be thankful for.

In fact, I was just reading through the popular blogs on bloglovin and came across this post about my secret crush: Taylor Swift
I just got a skirt JUST like this one from my sister for X-mas! Of course mine is gray 'cause I'm not as darned cute or skinny as Taylor so I can't be showing off like that. But that made me giggle.

We also got a Dyson Animal Ball which has picked up an embarrassing amount of....cat hair.
Another awesome gift was basically a free trip! We got Southwest gift cards and I can't wait to see how we can use them! We got many awesome gifts but really it would be sorta silly to list them ALL haha.

New Year's projections.....

Well. I need to work off all this weight I gained over the holidays but I honestly don't want to be stuck with the new-years-resolution crowds at the gym. That's probably just an excuse but whatever.
I have one more semester left of nursing school. UHG! Speaking of, still no word yet on my SIP placement and it is driving me to distraction.

One more semester of nursing school has many implications. P and I dislike Colorado a great deal and would like to leave it as soon as possible but this would be a silly thing to do if I was able to get a job at a particular hospital here. It seems somewhat unlikely to me that I would be offered a position as there will be so many people applying for a job there come this summer....but it would be silly not to try.

We only signed our lease up until July which means that, whether or not we stay in Colorado, we will be moving out of the condo. If this alone was the only thing happening this summer it would be a big pain enough. But to put, on top of that, the idea that we may be moving out of the state.... Jeeze. My head hurts just thinking about it. P and I often discuss places we would like to move to once we finally quit Colorado. P has made it...ehem...obvious that going back to Vegas is out of the question. It seems the only places he is remotely interested in are as follows:

Portlandia/Vancouver --> Family live there and fond memories of the city
Austin --> He has been there once and people say we would like it
Omaha --> If, and only if, his company offers to give him a hefty pay raise
Hawaii --> Because we are allowed to dream.

I think we should add Phoenix onto the list but he is reluctant. Why the nut can't I have my desert back damnit? This snow shit is for the birds. So are these sub-zero temperatures. Uhg. Anyway, 2012 is shaping up to be a big pain in the ass and I'm going to miss the steadiness of 2011. I hope that by the end of this upcoming year I will have a job, a house, and still have my husband! haha.

On a more somber note, Tamatama has not been well. We have noticed over the past 2 months or so his weight has been dropping, energy level low, and just generally not quite himself. We took him into the vet yesterday and they did bloodwork and rads. I will get the bloodwork results back tomorrow, but otherwise nothing was evident on physical exam. Some signs point to diabetes and that would make me a very sad panda. He is a good little guy and doesn't deserve to have diabetes....I'll keep you appraised of the situation.

Like I said...2012 is going to be a bitch.

P.S. Oh yeah. So about 2 months ago I finally went to the eye doctor again for the first time in about 6 years and we went and picked out new frames for a script that has barely changed. Of course it couldn't be that easy! Took a week to get the glasses made and when they got to me the right lense is fine but the left one is all kinds of wrong. But I did the right thing and wore them for about 4 days before I couldn't take it anymore. The glasses maker said they couldn't do anything without a new doctor's order so another 5 days went by before I could get an appointment. So I got a SECOND exam that came back with the same script. The doc looked and the new and old glasses and the only thing they could find was that the pupillary distance wasn't quite right on the new lense.....so they wrote a new script and I took to the glassesmaker and they sent the glasses out. I went back to pick them up yesterday and, if anything, the distortion is worse. The glasses maker people are baffled - their only recommendation was basically that my ophthalmologist is a quack and that I should pay to have THEIRs look at me. Eff that crap. I'm not getting three exams done in less than 2 months it's ridiculous. So I called the doctor and spoke with her and she was at a loss also. Her thought was that the glassesmaker uses shitty materials. All this finger pointing.... I hung up with her promising I would give the glasses a try but that if this shit keeps up I was going to return them and keep using my old ones for the rest of my life. She actually called me back later and suggested I come in and see their optician on Tuesday to see if it is just shitty materials or something.....I tried putting them on this morning to 'get used to them' and I could only have them on for a few minutes before I almost threw up on myself. Who needs to see anyway?

Also during one of these glasses sessions I was sitting there waiting for someone to look at something on them and I was messing with my wedding ring when I noticed one of the sapphires was loose!!! Jeezus christ. So I took it to Tiffany's before we left for Portlandia and they sent me an email stating that it was going to be just over $100 to fix the "damage." FFS/FML!

And today I ripped out about 13 inches of knitting because it wasn't looking the way I wanted.

CAN SOMETHING PLEASE GO MY WAY!?

Color Inspiration

2011-12-13T12:04:00.000-07:00

I have a few favorite knitwear designers that I follow and one of them is Veera from Rain Knitwear. She makes these delightful designs, two of which I have knitted, one I have the pattern for and 2-3 more I'm ABOUT to purchase. Just love her work. Anyway, one of the shawls she designed is a huge hit on the Rav and I'm no exception to the popularity rule.

A number of people have done the shawl in different colors and they have turned out just lovely! Problem is, I don't want to be a total copycat and steal their colors, but on the other hand....picking out 6 or so colors that go well together isn't exactly super easy for me (normally I'd pick black, gray, blue and be done). So I recently found this other site called bloglovin.com and they sorta just collect blogs and make a feed of blogs you follow. It seems that most of the blogs linked there are fashion/design related which is sort of fun! There is one girl linked there who makes swatch palettes based on pictures and things she sees. Here is one I just love....probably because I am from the northwest and these colors remind me of the beaches there.

Link to her Blog

Soooo.....that's not enough colors either. But I used this as a jumping off point! So below are the colors from KnitPicks palette collection I chose and purchased today. Let me know what you think!

White will be the background, then the colors are in order: Oyster heather, Almond, Tranquil, Rainforest Heather, Navy, and Black.

What do you think?

A Word On Tact...

2011-12-08T18:22:00.000-07:00

I am lucky enough to have fantastic parents. I wouldn't have admitted that when I was 16 mind you, but I am very happy to say it now. They raised me well and gave me a number of excellent traits: bad vision, acne, family history of dementia, skin so pale you can watch the skin cancer grow on it and so and so forth. Seriously, I do love 'em. Yet another thing I inherited is my mother's tongue/lack of filter. She isn't quite as negative as I am and she somehow manages to be pretty up beat all of the time which may be the reason she doesn't catch the flack that I do even though we both seem to have suffered from a congenital filterectomy.

The point here is, my mouth gets me into sticky situations. Wow, that sounded naughty! Ha! See what I mean? Anyway, in the last week I've had two incidents that have really opened my eyes. I am going to relay them here and perhaps all none of you that read this can give me words of wisdom.

Situation #1:
Nursing school is sprinkled with special folk. And no, I don't mean people who are developmentally disabled, most of them are smart enough to stay away from nursing school. There are people from all walks of life, all ages, all sexual orientations, all everything. Just mostly women. That aside, I do have my own special name for those that are of the older persuasion. These are folk who maybe were stay-at-home parents and are now looking for a career that cares. Or perhaps this is their 17th attempt to find a career they like. Either way, they are "mid-life-crisers" to me. I don't mean that meanly, or in a bad way at all. I'm on my second career path at age 26, so I too know you don't always know what you want to do with your life until you get out there. So anyway, I allowed this special name to be made known to some classmates. There was my first mistake.

We are all forced to take this online class on social justice (although I have yet to know what that is and there is only one more week of it....guess I missed the bus on this one....don't forget about this class, by the way, it comes up in the next scenario) and they have us split into groups of 9-10 students. So we are out for drinks status post our last clinical day of med/surg 2, celebrating, and one my fellow classmates lets it be known that in her online group, one of the OTHER students quoted me as calling old people mid-life-crisers. I almost dropped my margarita! I don't claim copyright on the phrase or anything, and I wouldn't mind either if someone had said "A certain person in our class calls older people mid-life-crisers".... but to straight up say my name and associate it with that without context or allowing people to know me so they know it wasn't an insult but rather a jest.... I was hurt and mad at the same time. I don't go out of my way to hurt people's feelings or make people hate me. But someone just helped me right along right there...

Scenario #2:
Today.
Another glorious thing we are forced to do for this program are mannequin simulations (see previous post). Today we had one and only now is my stomach untying the massive knots in itself. So we get there and there is an extra person in our group. Three people is crowded enough but four is unruly. This fourth participant is a person I have disliked from afar. I've never had to deal with her or really even speak with her prior to this day and I was happy keeping it that way. You know, there are just some people you know you'll never get along with no matter what, so why try and force it? So up to this point, I just THOUGHT she was sorta annoying and horrible, but had no proof.

So I hate SIM more than anything on this planet I think. It puts me in a bad mood, I don't sleep well the night before, I don't usually eat because my stomach is upset, so on and so forth. So by the time I actually get to the SIM I'm a hot mess. Today was no exception save for knowing that the two other people I knew were going to be in the group were people I know and like very much.... well...except for the EXTRA.

We go in and go over the pre-SIM materials and I look at my buddies and I'm like "Gah, I hate SIM so much! I wish we could do anything else but this! It's so freakin' stupid!"

Extra whacks my arm and goes "Jeeze, what did you do? Wake up with a mouthful of nasty this morning?"

Now...I may have been whining, but still. I tactfully responded "This is just the way I am."

So we go into SIM where Extra says some choice inappropriate phrases like "You're a real man now that you've had an MI!" and it's finally over. It was horrible but over and now I was ready to go home, order a pizza (where is it by the way? It's been awhile....) and put on a movie and try to destress.

The four of us get in the elevator and one of my buddies asks me about a paper due soon for the previously mentioned online class and whether or not I was able to find an article the teachers indicated they wanted us to reference.

"I looked for that thing but I couldn't find it actually. I wonder if it was hidden in the module and I just didn't see it. But the thing is, I looked at my points and even if I didn't turn the paper in at all I could still get an A, so I wrote the best paper I could without that article thingy and turned it in."

Ok ok! I'm not some crazy overachiever! I got it done! The class, in my opinion, is silly and it isn't like I didn't turn it in!

Extra in a super sarcastic/snide/bitch tone: "Psh, gosh, I don't want YOU to be my nurse."

It was like one of those scenes in a movie. I saw me dropping my bag and throwing myself at her jugular. Hair flying, blood curdling screams, No no! Stop! Please! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!

Instead I looked at her and said "Really? Over some stupid online class we all know is bullshit?"

**Sigh**

I know she's dumb, self-important, and arrogant and her opinion shouldn't matter to me at all. But words do hurt even if you don't care whether the speaker lives or dies. At this point, I am actually more miffed/mad than actually hurt, but still.

I hope she hates me and I hope she goes and tells all of her small friends what a horrid bitch I am. That would thrill me to no end. :)

Denver Destroys Music

2011-11-20T12:31:00.000-07:00

This rant is brought to you in part by Colorado.

So last night my car said it was about 33 degrees as we parked a block away from the Bluebird theater. We were right on time, the doors were set to open at 8pm and it was 7:58. We bundled up and briskly walked up the block to the theater and promptly jumped inside the warm building. A handful of people stared at us...some annoyed and some totally blank. We were then ushered back outside because they weren't quite ready to open yet. Already I'm irritated and we haven't even made it into the venue.

After another ten minutes or so standing outside they decide to let the small band of us (4 of us standing outside freezing) into the theater. After getting the wristband slapped on, I hustled upstairs while the hubs went to the bathroom. If there are going to be seats they are always upstairs. So I grab a stool at a table that has four and invite the two other par-frozen folk that were outside with us to share the table (hey, I'm trying to learn how to be more social!) These two very nice people, Belle and Eric, are exceptions to this entire post. Nice, polite, enjoyed conversation when the music WAS NOT playing, and actually came to see the band not try and figure out the world's problems. So we make pleasant conversation as people slowly trickle in. Not a hugely popular band for Denver apparently.

The lights dim and one of the openers starts to play. There are barely 20 people in the entire venue but they are all talking so loudly that it's difficult to hear the band! This is highly impressive to me because, as a whole, concerts have gotten immensely loud over the last few years. It is almost as if they think that you can cover up some of these band's talentlessness by cranking the music to obscene decibel levels. So the four of us are sorta irked that, even while it's not the band we came to see, we are getting a taste of things to come when our band actually does come on.

I have to pause here about last night and go a little broader as far as concerts go for a moment. This venue was probably only about half full and we had gotten stools and stuff so the chance of us getting knocked around was minimal. But at just about every other show we've been to in the Denver metro area, the crowd has been horrendous. Rude, violent, pushy, smokey, and just plain annoying. Red Rocks might have been the worst. We will never go back to that place. Shoot at one small venue this guy was dancing in front of me and then suddenly decided he wanted to go to the bathroom so he simply turned and mowed me down, I almost ended up on the floor, and I shouted "ASS HOLE!" at him and this girl he was with was just mortified! When the guy came back she yelled at him and he was like "I had to go, what the fuck?" and she had to explain to him why what he did was wrong. He still didn't understand that knocking someone over was not ok. This is just one of a hundred stories I have from the concerts we've been to here.

Some tips for retarded Denver concert goers who never learned how to behave at a concert:
1. The dance floor is for DANCING, not checking your text messages.
2. If you are 8 feet tall, don't stand in front of anyone shorter than 8 feet tall. Ass hole.
3. Jumping up and down with your arm saluting Hitler is NOT dancing.
4. If I'm standing there, you can NOT also stand there.
5. I don't want your pot, go smoke it in the cold and get frostbite with the rest of the smokers.
6. Shut up and dance.
7. If you elbow someone every time you try and dance, you're too damn close, but if you are dancing all over the place and you're taking up the space of 10 people to "get your dance on" you need to take it down a notch.

I'm sure there is more I could add to this list but I haven't had enough coffee yet today.

These are just a few tips and tricks that might prevent you from getting shot. My husband has had to literally PROTECT me from getting the crap beat out of me by crowds of stoned ass holes who don't seem to care. It's unacceptable and we can not for the life of us figure out why Denver is like this... unless shitty driving = shitty concert goers because then it is all clear to me.

Anyway, so there was one toolish guy and his woman who, despite there being plenty of room along the railing where they wouldn't block anyone's view, decided to block Belle and Eric's view for no reason. Otherwise the crowd was ok until the main band came on and thus the pot smokers started tokin' up. So, here's really the beginning of my rant. The upstairs area of a venue does NOT equal "where you go to smoke pot and/or have discussions about world economics." Seriously. I don't want your second hand pot smoke, it stinks it's gross and I know all you're doing is getting even more retarded than Denver has already made you. Put the joint down, shut your damned mouth and listen to the music. I don't go all up in your space and spray some annoying scent so why the hell should I have to smell your shit? Also, if the cigarette smokers are polite enough to go outside these days, why do you think you're special? STOP RUINING MY SHOW WITH YOUR STENCH AND GO TO A REAL DOCTOR FOR YOUR PROBLEMS ASS HOLE.

I think some kind of domestic dispute began after the first song because some inebriated woman started shouting things over the music...that was awesome. Then we had a small crowd of about 5 people come upstairs and stand behind us and start discussing something while showing each other things on their cells phones THE ENTIRE REST OF THE SHOW. Look, everyone I know will tell you I have trouble keeping my mouth shut. I often have things I want to say during a show and if I can't contain myself I'll whisper it into the ear of whoever I feel like telling. NOT SHOUT IT OVER THE MUSIC. SERIOUSLY DENVER WHAT THE HELL!?

It was literally difficult to focus on the music over the din. I've experienced a lot of douchebaggery in this state but that pretty well took the cake. I'm surprised, honestly, that the band didn't walk off the stage.

I am sick of getting knocked around, having to smell the pot, and having to listen to other people's retarded conversations over the music we paid good money to hear. I don't know if people from this state just don't know any better or if douchebaggery begets douchebaggery and thus a vicious cycle has arisen in this podunk town..... but it all needs to stop.

P.S. Plaid was pretty good....from what little I could hear over the crowd.

CU Noir?

2011-11-11T16:52:00.000-07:00

    A little known fact about me is that I adore film noir. Many people are unaware of this genre of film and novel as its heyday was mostly in the 40s. Also, it has plot, character development, humanity, and portrays genuine emotion as opposed to today's lame excuse for movies. In fact, even Marylin Monroe used film noir to get her start! (See The Asphalt Jungle, it's one of my favorites!) That's for another blog post though....Haha. Anyway, we have two shelves full of noir DVDs and each any every one has a story worth getting into.

    One of the more recent additions to our collect is actually a book called Portland Noir. It is actually a collection of short noir-esque stories and I finally picked it up the other night and read one. Well by golly if it didn't get me thinking! I think only one or two people actually read this little brainchild of mine, but I was thinking of trying my hand at a noir story that takes place on the CU campus! I have actually written up an intro in the hopes that someone will comment at let me know if they think it is just stupid and to stop or.....perhaps it could be like those old "choose your own adventure" books and my two readers could help me finish it!

    If you would be so kind to let me know what you think of the whole idea, what you think should happen next, and so on and so forth that would be so awesome!

    So I guess, without further ado.......

It had been a very long night. A full day of proctoring simulations will take it out of you, especially when you have to fail five students. Clara Evens hated that part of the job and tried her best to give the students every opportunity to fix their mistakes, even going so far as to have the mannequin patient hint at their shortcomings. Sadly, even that is not enough for some students. This week is the simulation for the first part of adult nursing and it is often a very stressful simulation. Despite a number of previous sim experiences prior to this one, many students forget the basics in the moment. Two students failed because they apparently forgot there was hand sanitizer in the room, two felt it wasn't necessary to tell their patient who they were and one gave a wrong medication. Clara had to sit and comfort and listen to the students, most of which sob uncontrollably, when she informed them that they hadn't passed. She never quite understood the overreaction, it was only five points after all and it didn't mean they failed out of the program by any means. After a day of that the last thing you want to do is set it all up so you can do it again tomorrow.

Clara put the mannequins back together, reorganized the Pixus, cleaned up the spilled...well, whatever it was, and got all the paperwork back in order for the morning students. At 9 p.m. there aren't many people on campus anymore and it is dark outside in the Winter. There is something calming about the quiet and emptiness of the big building sans sobbing students. She took one last sweep of the simulation area and noticed that she hadn't completely covered the mannequin. She knew it seemed a little macabre, but she felt that they should be covered, when not in use, like people in the morgue. Clara pulled the sheet over the mannequin's face, turned off the lights, and trudged out into the bitter cold. Finally, she could go home to a much needed glass of wine.

She had barely slept a wink. How could she? Clara lived in a condo complex in a unit above a couple of meat-head bachelors. For the most part they were pretty quiet but every great once in awhile the Pomeranian would come over. Well, not the actual dog, but a woman, who sounded an awful lot like someone kicking a Pomeranian whenever copulation was occurring. Last night, he beat the shit out of that Pomeranian.

Clara pulled into the parking lot behind ED1 at 8:05, cursing the badge scanner. She never was able to pull up to the scanner just right; she always had to either lean half way out of the car window or open the door completely to reach it. She parked, gathered her things and threw the car door open almost face-planting from the black ice strategically located directly under the driver's-side door. 8:10, damn. The students would be calling all kinds of administrative staff freaking out that she wasn't there. She ran into the building and jumped into the elevator ripping off hat, gloves, and scarf on the ride up.

There they were: three worried nursing students, looking like little angel of death trainees in their black scrubs.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, running late obviously,” Clara said, unlocking the simulation anteroom door.

She ushered the three students into the anteroom and gave them their study materials. Good, Clara thought, that will give me ten minutes to pull myself together. She went into the control room and dropped her stuff on the floor, collapsing into the swivel chair. Jeeze, what a morning. Clara powered up the computers and turned on the lights. Everything looked good. Coffee, how could she have forgotten coffee? Today was turning out even worse than she had thought.

Sighing, she pulled herself out of the chair and went back into the anteroom. The students looked up with fear in their eyes. After answering a few questions Clara forced the students into the simulation room. As with other simulations, the students wait at the side of the room until the proctor goes into the control room and speaks through the mannequin and says “Come in.”

This is what Clara did but the students didn't move.

“Come in,” she said again into the microphone.

The students just stood there looking like horrified fish out of water.

Clara checked a number of computer connections, tapped on the microphone, unplugged and replugged different things back in.

“Testing testing,” she tried again into the microphone.

Clara looked up through the one way mirror and saw one of the students approaching the bed with a worried look on her face. Thank god, she thought, it would have been even worse if they had to reschedule all of the day's simulations because of a tech issue.

“What the....” the adventurous student said, almost too softly for the microphone to pick up.

What was that student's name? Sara? No, Anne that was it. Clara followed her gaze to the mannequin. Ah, she had forgotten to uncover the poor guy before the simulation started. Oh well, what can you do when you don't have your morning coffee?

“Ow, it hurts!” Clara said into the microphone, feigning pain for the patient.

The students didn't seem to hear it. The adventurous student had made it up to the bed now and from the look of her furrowed brow, and very pronounced frown, something was wrong. Anne pulled the sheet down slightly and instantly turned very pale. Clara couldn't see what it was from the control room, but the other two students screamed. Clara jumped out of her chair and ran into the simulation room. Anne was frozen, arm still extended toward the bed. Clara followed her gaze again, to her horror.

With only a few inches of the sheet moved, it was easy to tell that it was no mannequin in the bed. Tousled dark brown hair spilled over the pillow leading to a forehead almost as white as the sheet that had covered it. Anne had only pulled the sheet down far enough to uncover one eye, and it stared directly at Clara.

Clara grabbed Anne and pulled her away to a chair near the other students who looked catatonic at this point. The jolt shook Anne back from wherever she was and she bolted from the room. Well, that might be for the best, Clara thought. She then turned her attention to the bed, flinging the sheet off completely, checking the girl laying there for a pulse. Ice cold! The girl felt like the chicken she had pulled out of the freezer the night before, and just as stiff. Damn, Clara thought, rigor is not a good sign. She heard something behind her and turned to see Anne running back into the room with her cell phone in hand.

“Yes, on campus! That's what I said! I need ambulance right away! NO! Not at the hospital! We are in the ED1 building, 5^th floor, and we have a girl here who needs help. Clara, how is she?” Anne had the color back in her face now and looked at Clara with determination in her eyes.

Clara shook her head slightly, “You can tell them she's ice cold and it looks like rigor has set in.”

Anne looked sullen, but relayed the message and after a few more answers, hung up the cell. Silence engulfed the room. Clara felt she needed to do something, even though she knew the girl in the bed was no longer alive, she saw the desperation in Anne's face and the despair in the other girls' eyes.

“Alright girls! Go get all the blankets you can find and take those fluid bags to the microwave! You know what they say, you're not dead until you're warm and dead!”

Diversity and Cultural Responsiveness and YOU!

2011-10-26T13:49:00.000-06:00

So for those of you who haven't experienced it yet, a majority of the work you do and the effort you put forth to complete a Bachelor's degree is bullshit. A lot of the crap the poor teachers, bound by the bonds of political correctness, shove down your gaping and monetarily raped gullet is stuff that you'll basically shit out and flush away later. For the sake of the excellent teachers I have had, this isn't always the case, just... mostly. This system of slow torture is actually part of the Bachelor's degree itself. You see, what that little piece of paper you get at the end is really saying to a future employer is "If I can take four years of their shit, there is a good chance I'll take yours, and like it, for money."

So I'm familiar with the system. I've been through this rigamarole before. The difference now is that...well I've had it up to here with taking shit. I've been listening to this crap for so long now I might actually have to rent another body to start holding it all.

Here is what spawned this little rant... I was actually going to just type up some nice blog piece about having fun with my dad this weekend, and when I clicked up in the "Title" section to type a nice, happy title....what popped up? One of the last pieces of crap I had to polish for school... "Diversity and Cultural Responsiveness." Now, now, don't go getting your panties in a bunch. I think most of us should all be able to just "get along" for the most part, but this is the kind of stuff I feel like I've already done my time on. I don't know what kind of heinous crime I committed to have to analyze this kind of thing yet again, but it must have been bad.

I'm sure this is actually not something the school itself decided on having. It is probably some requirement by the certification board to allow the school to have a "Bachelor's" program. Again, I do understand the bureaucracy here, I just wish people would see the forest for the trees. The time we are spending discussing things like, what defines a profession and how dare those cashiers at Seven Eleven call themselves professional and what it means to attempt (because you can never achieve) being culturally diverse, would be time better spent memorizing normal lab values and the clinical manifestations of DIC.

So, I've decided to define my own culture. In my culture, I'm always right, I believe that when I'm the patient I need to have massages, facials, and foot rubs every day, and that the descendants of Roman gods will feed me throughout the day in loin cloths. That's just my culture. Now.....go be sensitive and responsive to my cultural needs.

P.S. This is what it looks like on my porch right now.....

Swimsuits and Goggles and Peds, Oh My!

2011-10-24T09:13:00.000-06:00

A classmate and friend of mine is trying to get fit, and is kindly taking me along for the ride. I hate working out..just hate it. I do sometimes enjoy classes like step and yoga, but most of the time I just don't have the drive to get up and go to them! We have been trying out some different classes and the first one we decided to try out was water aerobics.

I haven't been swimming in so long I can't even remember the last time I went swimming. The one bathing suit I do have ties on, which I thought might not be the best for aerobics, so I knew I was going to have to do the dreaded swimsuit shopping trip. In October. By the way, don't do it. I ended up at a sporting goods store to find one! They had a few to choose from but there I am looking at numbers to try and figure out my size without a sizing chart. So I'm holding them up to myself, like I might do with any other clothing item, and that's apparently NOT the way to find a bathing suit. I selected one, and go get someone to open a fitting room for me. I couldn't even get it over my knees. Dismayed, I went back out and got one 2 sizes larger. Couldn't get it over my hips. Back out again, to get one 2 sizes larger than that....got it on but...I don't think my CMS was intact. This time I finally got the hint and had grabbed the next one up too, which finally fit. Somehow I wear a size 4 in clothing but like...a size 10 in swimsuits. Depressing much?

So I go to the counter feeling fat, frazzled, and fugly and I'm waiting for the cashier to call me up and I'm looking around trying to decide if I want to call my friend and tell her that I want to give up already.....and a guy wearing huge swimming goggles comes slinking around the corner. Of course I can't help but stare at him! He checks on the singular cashier, who is busy talking buck shot with the guy she is checking out , and slinks up behind me in line. I'm...just staring.... He finally looks up and me and grins from behind his goggles.

"I thought I'd go up to the cashier like this and see if I can scare her!"

I just started laughing! The goggles were clear so it wasn't as if he was going to rob the place, but this guy was obviously just having way to much fun.
We briefly discussed how uncomfortable a disguise goggles would make before he asked me if I, too am a swimmer. I divulged our workout plan. He asked me if I had already tried on the bathing suit I was holding, as though if I hadn't already, he would be willing to offer opinions on how it looked if I was in need. When I told him I had, he looked dejected but did say that he betted I looked great in it.

Hey...I'll take compliments wherever I can get them. Even from goggle people.

On a completely different note, I'm almost done with my pediatric rotation. Due to some lame bug, as I have mentioned before, I get to go in and do one more shift next weekend. But my last real clinical day has come and gone.

When I knew my pediatric rotation was coming up and I started imagining the worst. In fact, I just knew it was going to be so bad I couldn't even imagine how bad. I obviously didn't know what to expect but I do know I'm not a kid person and everyone who knows me will verify that information. So, as it turns out, the kids were fine. I didn't have any trouble with any of the kids I dealt with. Now the parents on the other hand........well......yeah.

I had a fantastic clinical scholar who encouraged me and pushed me to try and not be afraid of working with the kids. She was very knowledgeable, down-to-Earth, caring and empathetic. Couldn't have asked for more in that department.

But here's the thing. Two things were said to me during this rotation that had never been said to me before:

First, my clinical scholar told me she saw me going to grad school and becoming a nurse practitioner. This is something I have only briefly toyed with in my mind, as just getting through regular nursing school seems to be such a challenge. But no one up to this point has ever suggested that they thought I would be a good candidate for it. It's a nice thing to hear from someone with experience that they think I would be worth sending on to "the next level." My ego got a big boost from that.

The second thing that was said to me blew me away. Now, a 12-year-old boy may just be a flirt and saying things, but I don't care, I'm going to take this at face value and run with it damnit. So it's my last patient on my last day of clinical. I walk in just as he is waking up to take his vitals and do an assessment even before my preceptor goes in to introduce herself. The one thing that made this situation different from all my other patients of the youthful persuasion is that mom and dad weren't in the room....so I joked with him and teased him and asked him about himself. When I was done with the things I needed to get done and I was about to ask him there was anything I could do for him before I went to go chart.....he sorta paused and looked up at me and said:

"You are the nicest nurse I have ever had."

I was floored. So as not to violate any privacy stuff I won't say what has been going on with this little guy, but he's no stranger to the hospital and nurses. He's had a number of surgeries, procedures, and inpatient visits. I actually teared up a little bit!!! I'm never like that!! I didn't even know what to say, which is rare! I just kind of smiled at him for a second and after I pulled myself back together I thanked him but ...wow! I will never forget that moment.

I still don't want to work in pediatrics, but I think that was the first moment that I felt like I could really do this.

I can really be a nurse someday.

Vomit

2011-10-19T20:23:00.000-06:00

This week is supposed to be an exciting one for me, but it has turned out to be more frustrating that anything. It is supposed to be the last week of this clinical rotation but due to some kind of viral outbreak, it is going to flow over into my new rotation. I had to go to the ophthalmologist today because it had been far too long since I had been last. Now...this doesn't sound like a big deal, but I would rather go to the dentist, gyno and go under the knife all in the same day instead of getting my eyes examined. I'm a fainter. How embarrassing. The final is being 'handed' out on Friday as well and I need to get that done on Friday pretty much as my daddy flies in Saturday. I think there are a few other things in there too but, to add on to my space metaphor, my life feels like a super massive black hole of school.

Last night I put on a new space documentary and it taught me that at the center of our galaxy is what is known as a “Super Massive Black Hole.” Not your ordinary everyday black hole...oh no. This black hole is large and strong enough to keep the eleventy-ka-trillion stars and planets in our galaxy in its orbit. Woah. I guess I had always thought that at the center of a galaxy was just, um, okay well I never thought about it! So here's the deal, black holes are binge eaters.

So way back in the galactic day, the milky way super massive black hole formed in a ginormous cloud of.....star dust.... and started eating it. It went on a super massive binge actually! The thing ate so much that it made itself sick and start puking. But a black hole is a hole after all, so, it vomited out both sides. This vomiting hole is called a quasar. Well, as most people do after they puke, the quasar felt better and reverted back to binge eating. As it started eating, the gravity pulled in all that stuff it puked out again and now it's circling around it... waiting to be sucked back in.

We are black hole vomit. And stardust.

I feel like a very full black hole right now. I'm full of bureaucracy, full of busy work and full of the terrible drivers here. When do I get to vomit it all up to make myself feel better? And if I was able to....would I just have to start swallowing it again?

The depressing answer to that is, almost undoubtedly yes.

I swear I will stop with this space stuff at some point but the other thing on the documentary last night was the recent discovery that space isn't random. Ok, well maybe SPACE is, but galaxies aren't! They have found that galaxies form huge consortiums! They connect and are connected by this dark matter/dark energy stuff that they don't know how to explain, but nonetheless, they seem to have their own galactic social network. Ok this isn't as cool as a black hole at the center of our galaxy but, it looks like BRAIN! They showed a picture of the networking and the first thing I thought was that they confused their images up with neural networking!! It's incredible to me how something as complex appearing as our brain seems to have a visual analog on a massive galactic scale!

Don't you think it looks like a neural network?

Ok I'll stop with this space stuff. I've got knitting to do.

Images thanks to Nasa.

Magnificent Desolation

2011-10-14T11:18:00.000-06:00

Perspective. This is something, I believe, nursing students tend to lose as the rotations roll by. I know I have. It is so easy to get engulfed in the tragedy you see during your clincals, the studying involved in passing classes, the stress of the impending NCLEX, and the fear of not finding employment at the end of it all. One of my major downfalls is my disdain for some of the “busywork.” I find myself seething about things when I should be able to just let them go. Why do I let others' opinions and thoughts do that to me? Where has my perspective gone?

Lately, I have been enjoying the documentaries streaming on Netflix. I've never cared for them in the past, so I'm not sure why I'm drawn to them all of a sudden, but I can't seem to get enough. I watched one on a serial killer I had never heard of, the Salem witch trials, dogs, and most recently, the plants and the space race.

As I was thinking about it, I believe the last thing I heard about space was that we basically demoted poor Pluto to space junk. I can't even think of when the last time was I cared to even look at the night sky. After watching this little show about the planets, I felt a little bit like my problems got smaller and the universe got bigger. It's hard to feel angry about how someone else could be so wrong in their opinion about something... when you are thinking about what life may lie beneath the ice on Europa.

I then moved on to a documentary about the race to the moon. How amazing it is to think that in 1969, before people had cell phones, GPS, personal computers, iPads or WiFi, we landed people on the moon. I basically can't figure out how much to tip without my cell phone and NASA landed people on the moon without a scientific calculator! There's some perspective for you. What an amazing feat also that so many people could work together, with so much of a time constraint, toward a common goal. I feel like doing these online group projects and papers is close to impossible and these people were able to make it to the moon in less than ten years from deciding they would try. Jeeze, time for me to get over my issues.

Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin Jr. was the second man to touch the lunar surface. There he is, standing on the ladder leading to infamy, and he pauses to look around. Knowing me, I would have just launched myself out of the door! But this man pauses, just feet away from making history, to take in the alien landscape. What history-making words does he utter?

“Magnificent desolation.”

This blew me away. I don't remember hearing this in elementary school; we always heard good ol' Armstrong's men stepping speech. How incredible. Here you are staring down at the beautiful, glowing jewel of the galaxy known as Earth from the magnificent desolation and the cold sterility of the moon.

That is the kind of perspective we should strive to achieve every day.

Pictures thanks to NASA.